party in reverse. It is something we rehearse. It is
memento mori on the Lay-Away plan, a receipt for
merchandise not yet purchased, a contract, a narrative
in episodes ... My birthday is only six months away;
I will be twenty-eight in November. Do we remember
what
it was like, to have died all those times before?
There must
have been certain interims between the goings
and the
comings
back, coherences of sleeptalk, but we have forgotten
them.
***
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Once I have lit a cigarette, I continue to inhale,
even after I have ceased to enjoy it. I drag, I
drag,
I drag again . . . It is a procedure, a sequence, a
fifth
of hard liquor. It must progress. It must be done
with.
Two
Admissions
"Excuse me," the receding hairline mumbled,
as it shuffled past me, and so on, up the flight.
His sandwiches and he
were on some kind of Top Secret Mission,
and I was a diminutive boulder which barred
their path to True Greatness and promises of
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