McManus Page 2

party in reverse. It is something we rehearse. It is
memento mori on the Lay-Away plan, a receipt       for
merchandise not yet purchased, a contract, a       narrative
in episodes ... My birthday is only six months       away;

I will be twenty-eight in November. Do we       remember what
it was like, to have died all those times before?
      There must
have been certain interims between the goings
      and the
            comings
back, coherences of sleeptalk, but we have       forgotten them.

***

Once I have lit a cigarette, I continue to inhale,
even after I have ceased to enjoy it. I drag, I
      drag,
I drag again . . . It is a procedure, a sequence, a
      fifth
of hard liquor. It must progress. It must be done
      with.


Two Admissions

"Excuse me," the receding hairline mumbled,
as it shuffled past me, and so on, up the flight.
His sandwiches and he
were on some kind of Top Secret Mission,

and I was a diminutive boulder which barred
their path to True Greatness and promises of